Blogging on pain meds

Update: I've noticed I'm still getting hits on this old post.  No doubt from other people who sprained both ankles and need some advice.  So I'm adding some tips here so you don't have to read my drug induced spew.  I'm a little scared to read it myself.
-For the first few days, if the sprains are bad enough, you'll have to stay off both feet.  I used our office chair to roll around since we don't have a wheelchair. I did some rather undignified crawling too.
-You can use crutches once you can put some weight on your feet.  Move the crutches independently of  each other so one crutch helps take weight off one leg.
-Once you can move your foot with minimal pain, take the brace off and write the alphabet in the air with your toes.  You have to do this without the brace.
-Get a resistance band.  Hook it around your foot.  Point and flex your foot for as many reps as you can do without pain. Then move your foot back and forth while holding the band at an angle.
-Stand on your toes.  This hurts but I noticed how much faster I started healing after I did it.
-Stand on one foot.  Your balance won't be what it used to be.  Stand next to something so you won't fall over. (again.)
-Stand with your feet pointed to the wall and lean into the wall until you can feel a stretch up the back of your legs. (Runners stretch) Do one leg at a time and then both together.  Hold each stretch for about 30 sec.
-  Once you can stand on one foot comfortably, you can use your stairs or a chair for more runners stretches. Put your foot up and lean toward the foot.

I think what helped me the most was removing the braces and doing the stretches.  It's been 3 months and my left ankle is mostly healed.  My right is still a little sore and really hurts by the end of the day.  I  still have trouble going down stairs. I've heard it can take up to a year to fully heal so I'm trying to be patient.  Good luck!
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Last week I stepped outside, hit the welcome mat wrong with my left foot and sprained both ankles on the way down. For those who need a visual, I came up with one.

You may think this looks a lot like the no internet picture. It’s because the horror is the same.

Anyway, they’re both sprained. All the advice on the internet points to a pair of crutches to keep off the bad foot. Yeah? Well what if both feet are bad? I soon learned that crawling wasn’t an option. I could ignore the skinned knee and the massive bruise growing there. It was the mocking of my children I couldn’t take. Hee hee. Be careful, Mom. Don’t hurt yourself. So I moved to transport by office chair. This was great except that I had to be pushed around. I tried using the crutches as paddles. Then my husband sang Row Row Row Your Boat. Fortunately, I was able to put weight on both feet after 24 hours. Now my children sing parts of the Duck Song to me. I'm sure you can guess which part...



I am allergic to latex. I also often forget this. Did you know that ACE bandages have latex in them? I do now. I have always had itch issues. Part of that is because I’m so tasty. If we go outside my husband’s leg will look like this.

I think it’s because he has O+ blood. There isn’t anything special in there. It’s like eating a hotdog without any ketchup. And since all the blood suckers are female, they want something better...

I have AB+ blood. Also known as gourmet blood.

Bzzzz Mmmm Janice blood
So my point is…I forget. The pain killer is kicking in and my legs itch.